Search
  • Prashant Bajpai

Initiating My Inner Engineering – Thank You Sadhguru

Updated: Mar 27, 2019



“Hi, I am Prashant. I’m a writer from Mumbai. I’m currently working on a script for a spiritual sci-fi show. I thought the best way to do research for it would be to use myself as a test subject to get a glimpse of the beyond. Even if I don’t, peace of mind seems like a good side effect anyway.”


This is exactly how I introduced myself at the commencement of my Inner Engineering Shambhavi Mahamudra initiation in Coimbatore nearly two years ago.



Did I know what I was getting into or was I nonchalantly using reverse psychology on the universe? Making a covenant of unconditional involvement without getting entangled in expectations, but subconsciously seeking enlightenment nonetheless.

Two years later, I can’t quite reflect on whether I know any better to tell you about how much I’ve grown. I’d rather relish on the dazzling uncertainty of who is it that knows…to know better from worse.

Who knows? Who…knows…?



Let’s go back to the opening statement from the guy who started it all and dissect him until the One who knows relents and reveals himself. Or in other words, seek the anomaly within my anatomy, find the absolute from which the relative emerge, fish out the constant from the variables, and decrypt the unity that duality longs for.


“Hi, I am Prashant. I’m a writer from Mumbai. I’m currently working on a script for a spiritual sci-fi show. I thought the best way to do research for it would be to use myself as a test subject to get a glimpse of the beyond. Even if I don’t, peace of mind seems like a good side effect anyway.”


To me, the easiest way to define meditation is calling it a process of unclogging the indigestion of your identifications to reconnect with Source of existence.


So let’s take a look at how it served me a much-needed intellectual enema by analyzing all my identifications in the above statement. But let’s start backwards first and then get down to the strongest identifications later.


“Hi, I am Prashant. I’m a writer from Mumbai. I’m currently working on a script for a spiritual sci-fi show. I thought the best way to do research for it would be to use myself as a test subject to get a glimpse of the beyond. Even if I don’t, peace of mind seems like a good side effect anyway.”


If I start my sentence with “Even if I don’t” and end it with “anyway,” chances are there’s not much at stake for me to latch onto so dearly anyway. The stronger my expectations, the stronger my identifications and vice versa.



Even before signing up for Inner Engineering, my brushes with meditation made me realize peace of mind isn’t a tall order for the intensely transformative capacity of a spiritual practice.


I could settle for it, but I wasn’t striving for it. I didn’t go for the crust. I came for the whole pie. So let’s go ahead and cut that last part out and see what we’re left with.


“Hi, I am Prashant. I’m a writer from Mumbai. I’m currently working on a script for a spiritual sci-fi show. I thought the best way to do research for it would be to use myself as a test subject to get a glimpse of the beyond.”


I have always held the notion of being led by your intuition and supported by your logic sacred.

So naturally, since seeking unified theories and chasing transcendental experiences came intuitively to me, it was logical to bank on my research skills to row me across uncharted waters. And the fact that they’ve served me so well on my path so far, I still find it challenging to not be triggered by intellectual goose-chases for objectifying the subjective.


After all, the intellectual perspective can only speculate what the experiential blazes through trial by fire. Language itself is constructed to describe relationships in the physical world to capture the boundlessness of a non-physical domain. It can talk around enlightenment, but it can never lead you to it.


When you try to process the infinite through the prism of the intellect, all you can do is keep circling an endless loop of your desires in installments. But if you’re really paying attention, you’ll realize even if you spend your whole life counting, the last number you count with your dying breath will still be closer to zero than it is to the infinite.



Whether I identify as a “test subject”, a “believer” or an “atheist,” or use “research,” “belief” or “disbelief” as a tool, I’m no closer to bridging the gap between the seeker and the sought. Yet we cannot deny how pervasively real the seeking is.

So let’s go ahead and cut that last part out and see what we’re left with.


“Hi, I am Prashant. I’m a writer from Mumbai. I’m currently working on a script for a spiritual sci-fi show.”


Sounds just like any other bare-boned personal introduction on the surface, doesn’t it? I’ll tell you what it’s not though.

It’s definitely not an answer to the question “Who Am I?”

A name? An occupation? A purpose?



Ever wondered why we’re the only species with a surname? First name Human, last name Being. A focal point of self-preservation and self-emancipation playing tug of war with its animality and divinity.


It’s funny how the cultural glorification of thought by repressed societies is now propounded as the leading existential philosophy of “I think, therefore I am.”


Apart from thoughts, there is no such thing as mind. Therefore, thought is the nature of mind. Apart from thoughts, there is no independent entity called the world.


In the states of waking and dream, there are thoughts, and there is a world also. In deep sleep there are no thoughts, and there is no world.


Does that mean we are experiencing the absence of existence or the existence of absence in the deep sleep state?



So while you are free to parade “I think, therefore I am” as your preferred existential philosophy, I’ll abide by the existential reality of “I am, therefore I think.”


Did you realize I didn’t even have to break out Consciousness and negotiate its spiritual-scientific definitions to demolish your identifications with your body and mind? Why break out the main course when you can do the job with appetizers after all?



Since language is solely constrained to conceptualize elements in the mental and physical plane of reality, the clarity in our thought and action is dependent on 3 key factors in this relativistic expression of consciousness:


Space – our proximity of awareness.

Time – our degree of presence.

Status – our degree of wholeness.


When we withdraw our senses and realize the absolute expression of our consciousness, there is no limitation of space, time, and status.


Its space is always Here. Its time is always Now. Its status is always Whole.


So let’s go ahead and edit out the rest of my identifications and see what we’re left with:

“Hi, I am.”


When you access the peace that passeth understanding and touch a dimension beyond the physical experientially, even the fundamental duality of the subject and object fuses into each other.



Thus, there’s no knowledge to attain when there’s no differentiation between the knower and the known. Hence the expression – One who knows the Brahman knows it not; one who doesn’t know it, knows it.


Nothing to suffix the “I am” to suffer the illusion of separation anymore. Just a restful alertness simmering with infinite potential. A universality free to embrace a personality to channel its true liberated nature of blissful liberation without being bound by any attachment or expectation.


I AM THAT I AM – TAT TVAM ASI – THAT THOU ART.

©2019 by www.anahathayogi.com. Proudly created with Wix.com

This site was designed with the
.com
website builder. Create your website today.
Start Now